Who Do We Think We Are? Part Two

After the disastrous tour for their ‘Come Taste the Band’ album wrapped in Japan in March 1976, a burned out, drugged out, and generally down-and-out Deep Purple limped back to the UK and quietly died. it was an ugly ending to one of the greatest and most important HM bands in history.

But wait! Deep would return just a few years later, re-grouped and ready to once again take Hard Rock world by storm! YES!!

Oh, wait… Did you think I meant the MkII reformation that took place in 1984, resulting in the Platinum-selling “Perfect Strangers’ album and the highest grossing tour of 1985? Sorry, no. I was referring to the absolute debacle that occurred in 1980, when a handful of small-time west coast musicians-for-hire put together a bogus DP, booked a North American tour and fooled absolutely no one. Sorry.

Our story actually begins with Steppenwolf. The ‘Wolf broke up in 1972, but various versions of the band persisted for decades, in fact right up to this very day. Just between 1977 and 1980, there were 9 different Steppenwolf line-ups, 8 of which featured at least one original member: usually either Nick St. Nicholas or Goldy McJohn. (One line-up included Frankie Banali!) It was during this revolving door period of band membership that guitarist Tony Flynn and keyboardist Geoff Emery became members of Steppenwolf.

Nick St. Nicholas was the last original member involved in this ongoing ‘New Steppenwolf’ fiasco. When he finally left, one would think that was that… But Flynn and Emery picked up the ball and ran with it, assembling another new line-up and touring clubs as Steppenwolf. With ZERO original members. The band consisted entirely of ‘jobbers’; hired hands picked up by McJohn and Nicholas over the years to fill out a line-up and enable the band to tour. Steppenwho??

Emery and Flynn left in 1980, as John Kay started threatening lawsuits. The pair must have made a few bucks whoring around under the Steppenwolf banner, as they immediately set to work forming a bogus version of another classic (and defunct) band: Deep Purple. Emery (who was also a lawyer, which explains a lot) contacted former DP Mk1 vocalist Rod Evans and original bassist Nick Simper to see if either was interested in ‘reforming’ Purple. According to Simper, “Rod phoned in 1980, when I was not at home, so he told my wife I should call him back, which I – in some wise anticipation – never did.” Smart man.

Rod Evans? Not so smart. Evans climbed aboard the phony express and, along with SteppenWTF alumn Dick Jurgens on drums and fellow anonymous jobber Tom De Rivera on bass, proceeded to do business as Deep Purple. Emery and Co. quickly found out the name ‘Deep Purple’ opened a lot more doors (and would potentially bring in a lot more cash) than the ‘Steppenwolf’ moniker, as Evans’ presence lent this project enough credibility that a tour was booked by the prestigious William Morris Agency, and a record deal was secured with Curb Records, an affiliate with Warner Bros. Records. Deep Purple was back!

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The New Purps managed about 30 shows in the US, Canada and Mexico before the lawyers got involved. The nightly set list contained Mk I staples ‘Hush’, ‘Kentucky Woman’, ‘Mandrake Root’ and ‘Wring that Neck’, but also several Mk II classics, such as ‘Smoke on the Water’, ‘Highway Star’, ‘Space Truckin’ and ‘Woman From Tokyo’. Mk III’s ‘Might Just Take Your Life ‘ and ‘Burn’ were included as well. But despite the stellar set list, the tour was a disaster. Several stories of near-riots have been related by fans over the years, including this one, posted online by a fan who attended a show at The Factory in Staten Island, NY on July 17:

“I distinctly remember the band coming on stage (although very briefly) sans Ritchie. It was a packed house and the crowd immediately went apeshit and started screaming for Ritchie and within a minute beer bottles started flying toward the band members. It quickly turned into a chaotic scene so I don’t recall for sure, but I believe a few of them were hit and injured. And if that wasn’t bad enough things only escalated once the bouncers tried to intervene…”

In an ironic twist, the opening band that night was a NY group called Samantha; their drummer, Bobby Rondinelli, would join Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow later in the year. Another interesting tidbit: The support band for the Swing Auditorium show in San Bernardino, CA was none other than the 9th bogus version of Steppenwolf! Awkwerrrrrrd!

By the time the tour hit Canada, Promoters began billing the group as ‘The New Deep Purple Featuring Rod Evans’. This didn’t stop Evans from making ludicrous statements like ‘Here is one off our “Burn” album’ when introducing ‘Might Just Take Your Life’ in Quebec City. A fan who attended that show posted this online:

“The fans were expecting Ritchie Blackmore not a fake look alike. The fans were very disappointed and started throwing stuff on stage at them. They even tore out theater seats to throw at them. The place was a mess… They almost caused a riot. It was a very bad concert for them and for the ‘Deep Purple’ name.”

It wasn’t just the fans that were pissed about the charade; promoters were also burned by the overwhelming negative feedback that the shows generated. Gary Perkins, promoter responsible for booking the band into Long Beach Arena, said “I feel like I’ve been duped. We just didn’t know what we were getting into. I though the group was more legitimate.” Robert Boulet, who booked the Quebec City date, said “They do not deserve to be paid, it is revolting.”

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As the tour progressed, the band started feeling the heat. Fake Purple played a festival in Mexico City, where in the band’s defense, Evans claimed in an interview for Sonido magazine that the new DP were using the Deep Purple name:

“In a totally legal form. I was the founding singer of the group and when I decided to form a new one with the guitarist Tony Flynn…. Before this we spoke with Ritchie Blackmore, of Rainbow, and with the people of Whitesnake. And they agreed.”

This proved to be a total lie. Evans changed his tune and sounded defiant in an interview for leading UK music paper Sounds in August, where he stated:

“We haven’t really tried to get hold of Ritchie. Whether Ritchie gives his blessing or not is of no real consequence to me as my blessing to him forming Rainbow would be of no consequence to Ritchie. I mean, if he doesn’t like it I’m sorry, but we’re trying.”

Tony Flynn spoke to a Rolling Stone reporter soon after, defending the sham with:

“(…our group) sounds exactly the same and looks exactly the same. In all respects we are the same product.”

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Evidence to the contrary can be found on Youtube, where footage from the televised Mexico City show can be easily found.

Presenting themselves as Purple had initially proved more lucrative than their previous scheme, but soon enough the Purple hammer came crashing down, and Emery and his cohorts finally found that messing about with HEC Enterprises (the real DP’s management company, who wholly owned the trademark for ‘Deep Purple’) was a different animal than the under-the-table deals with the ageing hippies that comprised the last remnants of Steppenwolf in the mid-70s.

Emery had actually incorporated the new Purps, and had the balls to call the company “Deep Purple, Inc.” Emery also applied for legal ownership of the “Deep Purple” trademark, the status of which he apparently believed was in question. Wrong. Wasn’t this guy a lawyer? This move brought out the big guns from HEC’s corner, and the whole mess was finally aired in federal court in California in 1981.

HEC’s suit against the imposters named Deep Purple, Inc. as well Evans, Jurgens, Emery and Flynn individually. The case was a slam dunk for the real Deep Purple, with the court awarding HEC/DP compensatory damages of $168,03.11, $504,09.33 in exemplary damages, $103,191.52 in attorney fees for HEC Enterprises’ counsel, and $40,782.00 for the legal fees of other plaintiffs (meaning concert promoters who had joined the suit). None of these dudes had that kind of dough, including Evans, who despite singing on Deep Purple’s 4 million-selling ‘Hush’, was skint.

The real DP knew that would never see any of the money. Stopping the bogus Purple wasn’t really about money. For the members of Deep Purple, it was about others cashing in on their years of hard work and creativity. It was about protecting a legacy. Perhaps Jon Lord summed it up best. For an interview in Hit Parader magazine immediately after the verdict was revealed, Lord said:

“The worst part of the whole thing is the damage it might do to our reputation. If we do get back together and decide to tour, what happens if word gets around saying, ‘Oh yeah, I saw them last year at Long Beach, and they weren’t anything like I remembered.’ The name Deep Purple still means a lot to most rock and roll fans, and I mean to see that it stays that way.”

And in 1998, while responding to postings about the ordeal on a Captain Beyond fansite:

“I did not enjoy having to appear in court against a guy I’d once worked with – but he who steals my purse steals trash; he who steals my good name takes everything I have.”

 

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Re-master of Reality

AC/DC OFFICIAL NEWS ANNOUNCEMENT

BIGGEST ROCK BAND IN WORLD TO RETIRE ON TOP: AC/DC CALLS IT QUITS   January 28 2009

Hot on the heels of their most successful release ever, fifteenth studio album ‘Black Ice’ (Sony), Australian hard rock band AC/DC have decided to end the band after touring in support of what will now be their final record. The band feels strongly that it would be impossible to top the worldwide success of ‘Black Ice’, and would rather wind up their career on a high note. Despite the fact that Black Ice was released exclusively in physical formats, and only through Walmart in North America, ‘Black Ice’ peaked at No. 1 in 29 countries, including Australia, Canada, the United Kingdom and the United States. The record shipped 6 million copies worldwide by December. “This is gonna be tough to beat,” says guitarist Angus Young. “You gotta know when to end it, right? This seems like a pretty good time to call it a day, before we embarrass ourselves!.” Expect AC/DC’s farewell tour to wrap up in 2010, after which the band will enjoy a well-deserved retirement.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

AEROSMITH DISBANDS, CITES INABILITY TO WRITE SONGS WHILE SOBER   September 4th, 1986/Framingham, MA

Boston-based Hard Rock band AEROSMITH have announced they are disbanding. After attending rehabs and declaring themselves 100% sober, the band has discovered they are utterly incapable of writing Aerosmith music. Last year’s mediocre ‘Done With Mirrors’ was written while the band tried to appear sober; writing the next record completely without the aid of illicit substances has yielded disappointing results. Manager Tim Collins and Geffen Records A&R John Kalodner enlisted an army of ‘song doctors’ to help write a follow-up, but the band flatly rejected the idea. “Now that I’m straight all the time, I just don’t feel like a badass anymore. We just aren’t Aerosmith without the drugs”, said guitarist Joe Perry. “It’s been a great ride, but I guess it’s over,” added vocalist Steven Tyler. “We’re clean and sober now, but our mojo ain’t workin’. Consider us all on permanent vacation.”

BULLETIN: DATELINE 6 NOV 1978

KISS ANOUNCES RETIREMENT, FRANCHISE PLANS

Legendary theatrical rock group KISS will retire from writing and performing early next year, inside sources say. The infamous shock rock quartet plan to expand KISS-related activities in other avenues. All four band members have signed on to star in a Saturday morning children’s variety show called ‘The Rockin’ Adventures of KISS!’, which is slated to debut in June of next year on. KISS will also enter the franchise market, with different musicians from across the country donning the costumes and make-up, allowing different versions of KISS to operate in different regions (KISS Vegas, KISS LA, etc). KISS has also signed an agreement with Disney to present nightly KISS concerts using animatronic versions of KISS in both theme park locations. Says Gene Simmons, “While there will be no more KISS records, the brand will continue and expand. Because it’s all about the brand. And the fans, right. The brand and the fans.”

June 12 1984 Hollywood CA

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: GUITARIST TONY IOMMI ANNOUNCES NEW GROUP ‘THE END’

Former Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi has put together a new band, The End. “Doing my solo album (‘Seventh Star’) was great fun, but I want to get back to a band situation. I’m happy to be working with Geezer again, and excited to see what kind of music comes of it.” Joining Iommi in The End will be former Deep Purple vocalist Ian Gillan and ex-ELO/Move drummer Bev Bevan. “Geezer and I talked about having Bill Ward in, but we thought the better of it. The record companies would probably try to slap the old Sabbath name on it, and after Ozzy died in that horrible plane incident, there will never be another Black Sabbath record. Besides, Bill’s in rehab.” The new group is planning an album for the spring of next year, tentatively titled ‘Born Again’.

BULLETIN / BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND DEC 18 1985

JUDAS PRIEST ABANDON NEW ALBUM SESSIONS, HALFORD ENTERS REHAB

Judas Priest lead vocalist Rob Halford has entered a rehab in Van Nuys, California to address an addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs. A spokesman for the singer states that Halford ‘…has taken the steps necessary to get himself together and will return to the band early in the new year.’ This move has halted recording sessions for the follow-up to Priest’s highly successful ‘Defenders of the Faith’ album. The band began recording material for a double album, tentatively titled ‘Twin Turbos’, but bassist Ian Hill says the band will “probably scrap everything and start over when Rob is back.” Hill continued, “We’re going to take this time to reassess where we are right now. There’s a lot of change happening in heavy music right now, and we want to be sure not to get caught up in the current trends or fads or what have you. We have to stay true to ourselves and our fans, and make sure we are honoring what Priest is really all about.”

7 April 1998 Huddersfield, UK / FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

STEVE HARRIS REPORTS: IRON MAIDEN GUITARIST SITUATION SORTED

JUST ANNOUNCED: Iron Maiden guitarist Janick Gers has decided to leave the band. In a statement released today, Gers stated “I had heard that Bruce (Dickinson) was coming back, everybody knew it would happen, but I wasn’t aware that they’d been talking to Adrian (Smith) as well. Maiden’s not a 3-guitar band, it’s a little much, isn’t it? I thought ‘If I step down, then it will be a proper reunion, won’t it?’ I don’t want to be the one standing in the way of that, you know.” Despite the fact that Gers’ tenure in the band included what some would say were Maiden’s weakest records, Harris has nothing but respect for the guitarist. Harris: “Janick feels he is doing the right thing, and we support him 100%. We thank him for the years he gave to Maiden and wish him all the best.” Harris has also dismisses claims that Gers was ‘forced out’ to accommodate Smith “Nonsense. I would have done with 3 guitars, ’cause it was a difficult situation and firing anybody wouldn’t have been right,  but Janick stepped up of his own accord and saved us from having to do that.”  Gers is reportedly planning to re-form White Spirit.

May the 13th, 1996/Via New Musical Express

Ex-Lizzy Man to Honor Mother’s Wishes; Lizzy-Without-Lynott Will Not Happen

American guitarist Scott Gorham wishes it to be known that he no longer intends ‘re-activate’ beloved rock group ‘Thin Lizzy’, as he had stated earlier this year in several music papers. Gorham’s change of heart comes soon after Philomena Lynott, the mother of Thin Lizzy frontman Phillip Lynott, made several public pleas for Gorham and fellow ex-Lizzy member John Sykes to “stop this madness before it starts”, and to “respect my son, who you have called your brother” (see NME March 26). Gorham reportedly met with Mrs. Lynott at her home in Howth some weeks ago, and finally made a public announcement yesterday. “We have all agreed to honor Philomena’s wishes.” said Gorham, during a short press conference on MTv UK. “She actually made us swear to it… We all took a vow and swore to let the legend of Thin Lizzy rest in peace.”

24 January 2010 HANOVER, GERMANY / FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SCORPIONS ANNOUNCE 3 FINAL ALBUMS AND 6 FAREWELL TOURS!

German hard rockers SCORPIONS have decided that their upcoming album, titled ‘Sting in the Tail’, will be their last. The band will then launch their final world tour to promote the album and to thank their loyal fans for supporting them for almost 50 years. SCORPIONS will then release another final album, called ‘Comeblack’, and embark on yet another farewell tour. This tour will be filmed for release on DVD, to be entitled ‘Get Your Sting’, and will showcase the SCORPIONS last-ever concert performances. Next up is another DVD, ‘Unplugged in Athens’, filmed on either the fifteenth or sixteenth leg of the band’s last tour ever. SCORPIONS final final album, to be called ‘Return to Forever’, will follow, followed by another string of final farewell world tours. SCORPIONS fans can expect the band to continue breaking up well into 2016, six years after first announcing their retirement.

September 1986, SOUNDS: “What’s Next for Purple People?”

After conquering the hard rock world with their one-off reunion album, ‘Perfect Strangers’, the members of Deep Purple are weighing their options. The first Deep Purple MkII album in 11 years went Top 20 in 9 countries, and has been certified Gold or Platinum in 6 countries, while the US leg of the Perfect Strangers tour was the 2nd highest-grossing tour of 1985. But no one seems to feel much like celebrating. “I have no idea what I’m going to do next, but I have to tell you I’m glad this Purple thing is finally over. Again.” The singer won’t confirm, but rumors of a post-show punch-up between Gillan and guitarist Ritchie Blackmore after their final Wembley show are circulating, and none of the other members are talking. Bassist Roger Glover: “Well, all I can say about that is there’s always been sort of a volatile chemistry within this band, and I think we were wise when we all agreed to limit this to one album. Anything more than that and it just wouldn’t work.” Jon Lord agrees. “Of course, I’m very proud of this album. We all are. But let’s leave it be, shall we? Time to move on to other things.”

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT October 31, 1986   Metallica HQ, San Rafael, CA

METALLICA BREAK UP AFTER TRAGIC LOSS OF BASS PLAYER

Following the tragic death of bassist Cliff Burton, the remaining members of pioneering thrash metal band Metallica have decided to call it quits. “Cliff is irreplaceable”, said drummer Lars Ulrich. “Trying to do so would be ridiculous. We’re going to what Zeppelin did; just end it. Honestly, we were running out of Dave Mustaine riffs anyway.” The pair plan to break the news to Kirk Hammett “pretty soon”. Ulrich plans to spend his free time learning how to play the drums. Frontman James Hetfield is rumored to be planning an as-yet-untitled 2-part country music concept album, centered around his gun collection. Dave Mustaine could not be reached for comment.

MUSICNEWS.COM: MAY 19 1996

VAN HALEN REVEAL IDENTITY OF NEW LEAD SINGER

The VAN HALEN NEWS DESK (http://www.vhnd.com) announced this morning that storied hard rockers VAN HALEN have hired a new lead singer. Despite rumors of auditioning several ‘big names’ over the past 5 months (Meatloaf, Iggy Pop, Regis Philbin, Elmer Fudd), the VH brothers have instead decided on a virtual unknown with no experience or ability, but with one important qualification: Malcom Van Halen is drummer Alex Van Halen’s son. On hiring his nephew, a professional photographer without any sort of musical track record, Eddie Van Halen remarked, “So what? He’s family. Besides, who cares? Roth sucked last time around and we still sold tickets. No one listens to this band for the vocals. And if Mal doesn’t work out, there’s always my nephew Aric.”

SQUATNEY, LONDON, UK

FOR ALL MEDIA-22/05/2016

HEAVY METAL LEGENDS SPINAL TAP TO RE-REUNITE, TOUR IMMINENT

Veteran British rockers SPINAL TAP have reunited once again. The band will launch a world tour on July 1st, weather permitting. The crowd-funded ‘Where Are We Now?’ tour will feature the band’s ‘smallest production yet’, and each show will include the classic album ‘Shark Sandwich’ (Polymer, 1977) played in its entirety. Select shows ‘may’ ‘perhaps’ ‘possibly’ be recorded for a live album. The band are currently auditioning drummers (interested parties should contact eatonhoggprod@tap.com.uk, must be able to play the drums by July 1). Support on the ‘Where Are We Now?’ tour will be UFO and Blue Oyster Cult. #gofundyourself/taptour

 

Volume 50: The End is Nigh!

As I sit and write this, my 50th post for MayoNoise, the metallic corners of the internet are all a-buzz with the announcement that Black Sabbath will embark on their final world tour. This final trek has been officially dubbed ‘The End’, and it was announced via a striking advert that reads “THE FINAL TOUR BY THE GREATEST HEAVY METAL BAND OF ALL TIME”. Listed just under that pronouncement are the names OZZY OSBOURNE, TONY IOMMI, and GEEZER BUTLER. Bill Ward’s name is conspicuous in its absence.

If you read my blog, you know this already. You also know why Ward’s name isn’t on the poster. It’s early yet; maybe they will wrap the tour in Birmingham and have Ward play that set, or a short set at the end of the show(s)… Hopefully they will do the right thing; I sincerely hope everyone involved can find a way to do end Black Sabbath that will include Bill Ward. But regardless; Black Sabbath have announced ‘The End’, and after The End, for me, Metal is over.

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Two days previous to announcing ‘The End’, Lemmy ended a Motorhead set in Austin, Texas after just three songs, saying “I can’t do it” and walking off the stage. Cancelled gigs and postponed tours have become commonplace for Motorhead since 2013, when a plethora of health issues began to plague their fearless leader. Lemmy has stated that he’ll probably die on stage, and, looking back over the last 7 days, it looks like Lem meant what he said and said what he meant. As ever. “I don’t wanna live forever!” indeed. Still, how sad was it to see Lemmy, who turns 70 in December, hobble off stage, with the aid of a cane, after apologizing to the Texas crowd. Lemmy: We love you. Go home and take it easy. Job done.

Bruce Dickinson and Tony Iommi have had recent cancer scares; Malcom Young succumbed to dementia. Bun E. Carlos and Bill Ward have both had to watch their bands carry on without them due to diminished physical capabilities brought on by aging (and, in the case of Ward, likely compounded by years of substance abuse). Craig Gruber, AJ Pero, Allen Lanier, Trevor Bolder, and RJD… It’s as if the Grim Reaper stepped out of one of the gazillion album covers he adorns and began stalking our heroes, ending their lives and/or careers. Who will be the Figure in Black’s next Chosen One? Motorhead resumed the tour in St. Louis a few days after the Texas walk-off… but how much longer can he soldier on?

Ronnie James Dio’s death was a wake up call for me. I have been listening to Heavy Metal seriously since 1976. After forty years of music from these guys, you kind of get used to having them around. These bands and the people in them become part of your life. My favorite bands: AC/DC, Cheap Trick, Motorhead, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and Rush… these bands have been with me for 4 decades. Like good friends, they have always been there when I needed them, during good times and bad. It’s a unique relationship; Metal fans are more passionate about their music and the musicians that make it than fans of any other genre of music. And with Dio’s passing, I realized that if The Man on the Silver Mountain could die, then all of my heroes were really just men; men who will grow old. Men who will eventually die. My Favorite Bands of All Time are dancing perilously close to the edge…

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Some of them are growing old gracefully: Rush are acknowledging that playing such physically demanding music gets tougher with the passage of each year, and are tailoring their final years to accommodate this reality. If ‘Clockwork Angels’ is the last Rush album, I’m ok with that. And how long can Iron Maiden continue to perform at their standard level of intensity? Their current strategy of staging shorter tours with longer breaks will buy them a few years, but cancer has already intervened once… As far as their current music, I don’t know what to make of IM’s latest 92-minute opus; it will probably take me the next five years to absorb it. Motorhead may now have no choice in the matter, but if they are in fact all done, they’ve left us with a real scorcher of an album in ‘Bad Magic’, with music full of piss and vinegar, and lyrics filled with thinly veiled goodbyes.

Now would be an excellent time to end it. I mean right now. Deep Purple’s ‘Now What?!’ album is one of their very best records, but the band are planning to do another. Don’t! End your 40+ year career on a high note! Don’t wind the band up with another ‘Bananas’! And I really don’t want to live in a world where a Cheap Trick album exists that does NOT include Bun E. Carlos on the drums. Their last record, ‘The Latest’, was strong; in fact, all of their albums since ‘going indie’ in 1996 have been strong… But a Bun-less CT album will be unwelcome in my home. AC/DC may have hung around for one album too many; ‘Black Ice’ broke records across the globe, but ‘Rock or Bust’ wasn’t quite the global phenomenon expected, and, while I like the album a lot, an AC/DC album without any contributions from Malcom Young needs to be considered carefully… Also, Angus Young, everybody’s favorite naughty schoolboy, is now 60 years old… Class Dismissed!

Lo, ‘The End’ will surely be the end. When the Pantheon of Old Gods is gone, who will be the New Gods? Slayer released a new album this week; just after a much-publicized spat between guitarist Kerry King and Mayhem Festival organizer Kevin Lyman. Lyman was bitching about low attendance during this year’s tour. While Lyman blamed the ‘metal scene’ in general, his issue was clearly with his aging headliners:

“The bands at the top all demand a certain level of fee to be on a tour. Unlike punk rock, metal never knows how to take a step back to move the whole scene forward…What happened was metal chased girls away because what happened was metal aged. Metal got gray, bald and fat.”

King came back with a statement calling Lyman’s remarks ‘business suicide’, and he was right: The 2015 Mayhem run was the last. But Lyman failed to acknowledge the lack of young bands developing into headliners over the past 20 years. During the eight year existence of his festival, which launched in 2008, the festival organizer soon found himself resorting to adding ‘older’ bands to key positions on the bill. Lyman wouldn’t have to resort to costly ‘grey, bald and fat’ bands if there were younger bands capable of filling arenas. When the old guard is gone, who’s gonna sell tickets?

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It saddens me to think that, in our lifetimes, we will live in a world with no Lemmy, no Alice Cooper or Ozzy, no Jimmy Page, Ritchie Blackmore, Rob Halford… No Schenkers, no Youngs… No larger-than-life characters, no living legends, no more heroes. Of course we’ll still have Dave Grohl, but he’ll have no one to jam with! Slash, maybe? Kiss will still be around though. I’m willing to bet that Gene Simmons has been grooming his son Nick for years to take over as Bat Lizard 2.0. The inevitable reality TV show to find the next Starchild will surprise no one.

Most of my favorite bands originated in the 1970s. That they survived the MTV ’80s and the alternative ’90s is nothing short of a miracle. I am grateful that they’ve been able to continue their careers so far beyond their original expiration dates. Back in 1978, no one would have guessed that any of these bands would still be touring and releasing viable music in 2015. I value everything they have given us over the last three or four decades, both good and bad, and I truly wish it could go on forever, that all of my heroes were immortal. But when Sabbath reaches the end of ‘The End’, it will likely be 2017. By then, my friends, the glory days will be well and truly over. How perfect that the band that started it all will be the band that presides over the funeral services.

Number One with a Bullet(belt)

If you’re my age, you discovered music on the radio. And, like me, you were probably listening on an AM Top 40 station; in the 1970s, Top 40 radio was almost exclusively found on the AM band. A glance back at the charts from that era reveals a pretty bizarre musical landscape; country music rubbing shoulders with soul and disco, hard funk fraternizing with soft rock, weepy ballads mixing with crunchy hard rock. A little bit of everything could be found on Top 40 radio in the 1970s… And if you were willing, as I was, to listen to 30 minutes of schlock in search of one hard rocking gem, the payoff was worth it.

Placement in the Billboard Top 40 in the 1970s was based on a combination of airplay and sales. Sales were largely driven by airplay; airplay was dictated by what appeared on the charts. Record company manipulation was also a major factor. But however dysfunctional these formulae were, this was the system many of us grew up with, and the way most of us found our music in the 1970s. This was how it was for me, and this is what I found…

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If we limit our look back to only the hardest and heaviest tunes ever to rough up the Top 40, there’s still a surprising number that make the cut. Let’s start with The Birth of Heavy, and Blue Cheer’s epic meltdown ‘Summertime Blues’, which peaked at #14 in 1968. This has got to be the heaviest song ever to feature in the Top 20. Also in ’68, Cream made the Top 10 with ‘Sunshine of Your Love’ (#6), Iron Butterfly hit #30 with ‘In A Gadda Da Vida’, and Mountain climbed to #21 in 1970 with ‘Mississippi Queen’. In 1969, Led Zeppelin’s ‘Whole Lotta Love’ made it to #4. Zeppelin continued to appear in the Top 40 into the early years of the 70s; ‘Immigrant Song’/’Hey Hey, What Can I Do’ hit #16 in 1970, ‘Black Dog’ reached #15 in ’71, and ‘Trampled Under Foot’ crept in at #38 in 1975.

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While Black Sabbath never achieved Top 40 status with any of their singles, they were there in spirit. Bloodrock’s ‘D.O.A.’ hit #36; a truly unsettling song (at it’s core, it’s a re-write of Black Sabbath’s ‘Black Sabbath’), ‘D.O.A’.’ was banned from many radio stations due to it’s graphically gory lyrics and dark musicality… which only helped boost its popularity. Alice Cooper hit #7 with ‘School’s Out’, another song that radio stations banned. With its subversive lyric, including a line about blowing up a school, it’s doubtful that this song would even be recorded today. The Edgar Winter Group’s monster instrumental ‘Frankenstein’ topped the charts (that’s #1, kids) in 1972. Blue Oyster Cult’s 1976 masterpiece ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’ (#12) may not qualify as ‘heavy’, but its epic middle section and morbid lyrics certainly do; the song caused a minor uproar when it was (correctly?) labeled a ‘pro-suicide anthem’. This was seriously heavy stuff, kids, and it was also considered pop music.

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Deep Purple’s ‘Smoke on the Water’ was only ever released as a single in the ‘double-A-side’ format, with the live version from ‘Made in Japan’ on the A-side and the studio version from the previous year’s ‘Machine Head’ on the B. Released in May of 1973, it climbed to #4; radio stations played both sides. Also in ’73, Rick Derringer’s kick-ass ‘Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo’ placed at #23, and Sweet’s ‘Ballroom Blitz’ reached #5; Sweet would hit again in 1975 with ‘Fox on the Run’ (#5) and ‘Action’ (#20). Alice came back in ’73 with three Top 40 placings from the ‘Billion Dollar Babies’ album: ‘Elected’ (#26), ‘Hello, Hurray’ (#35) and ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’ (#25), before a bizarre run of four consecutive Top 40 ballads. Not bizarre because the ballads were bad; bizarre because … he was Alice Cooper. And these were ballads.

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Aerosmith were a dominant presence in the Top 40 for a few years, but didn’t exactly play fair… ‘Dream On’ originally peaked at #59 in 1973, but after the success of the ‘Sweet Emotion’ single (#36), Columbia re-released ‘Dream On’ again in 1976, and the song hit #6. ‘Walk This Way’ has a similar history: when originally released in 1975, the single didn’t even chart. In 1976, it was re-released in between the ‘Last Child’ (#21) and ‘Back in the Saddle’ (#38) singles, and this time ‘Walk This Way’ would hit #10. Aerosmith’s last visit to the Top 40 in the 70’s would be with their cover of the Beatles’ ‘Come Together’ (#23) in 1978, from the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band movie soundtrack. Aerosmith would re-appear as chart darlings a decade later, but as a drastically different kind of band (sob).

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The Hottest Band in the Land paid frequent visits to the Top 40. Kiss hit #12 in 1975 with the ‘Alive!’ version of ‘Rock and Roll All Nite’, with ‘Shout it Out Loud’ (#31) in ’76, and with ‘Calling Dr. Love’ (#16) and ‘Christine Sixteen’ (#25) in 1977. Two other Kiss singles charted just as high or higher; one was a ballad produced by Bob Ezrin (it worked for Alice). Neither single rocked, so they will not be acknowledged here. For about two years, Foghat were huge; ‘Slow Ride’ (#20), ‘Drivin’ Wheel’ (#34), and the live version of ‘I Just Want To Make Love to You’ (#33) were all over the radio. Heart showed up big with ‘Crazy on You’ (#35) and ‘Magic Man’ (#9) in ’76, and the absolutely awesome ‘Barracuda’ (#11), another solid candidate for the heaviest Top 20 song evah, a year later. Just goes to show: you can’t judge a 45 by its picture sleeve.

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I’ll round out our research here with a few more notable one-offs: The manic flute freak-out of ‘Hocus Pocus’ by Focus reached #9 in 1973, BTO’s ‘Let it Ride’ got to #12 in, and ZZ Top’s ‘Tush’ reached #20 in 1975. In 1976, Thin Lizzy broke big with ‘The Boys are Back in Town’ (#12), and Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ topped out at #9. In 1977, Ted Nugent returned to the Top 40 (The Amboy Dukes’ ‘Journey to the Center of Your Mind’ hit #16 in 1968) with ‘Cat Scratch Fever’ (#30), and Ram Jam’s recording of the blues tune ‘Black Betty’ caused the NAACP to call for a national boycott. ‘Black Betty’ hit #17, which seems to indicate that the boycott failed…

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It sounds improbable today, but in the 1970s, the place to go to for hard rock and heavy metal was Top 40 radio. In 1978, the Top 40 format began migrating to the FM dial, where singles mingled with album cuts, diluting the power of the ‘Hit Single’. As touring became big business, the hard and heavy bands began working the road the way they had previously worked radio. It was the end of the era when the Top 40 ruled the AM airwaves.

…Until today. The Top 40 format rules the airwaves once again, although these days it seems as though there are only 5 or 6 songs ever aired on the radio, played over and over and over. Today, there is ZERO rock music on Top 40 radio. Kids are finding their rock and metal music on the internet, acquiring it for free, and deleting it when they tire of it. To a child of the 70s sitting on his bed, staring at his battery-powered radio, waiting for the DJ to play ‘Carry on Wayward Son’ (Kansas, #11/’77) again, the music culture of today would seem like pure science fiction.

(Let me know if you think I’ve missed anything; everything that appears here is based on my (subjective) opinion of what constitutes hard rock and heavy metal during this era. Besides the omissions specifically mentioned in the article, some Top 40 singles by Jethro Tull, Queen and Nazareth were left out because imho, they just didn’t ROCK to a sufficient degree.)

 

Unsung: John Gustafson

During the last 12 months or so, the world of rock has lost several notable rockers. Jeff Hanneman, Clive Burr, Lou Reed, Glenn Cornick, Allen Lanier, Tommy Ramone, Trevor Bolder, Johnny Winter… This shouldn’t be a surprise; most of our 70’s hard rock heroes are somewhere in their 60’s, and as much as it pains me to point out, nobody lives forever. Lemmy “That’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever” Kilmister was forced off the road and into the hospital several times recently. Malcom Young has officially retired, unable to play with AC/DC due to some unspecified ailment. Tony Iommi’s cancer battle was an eye opener, but it was the death of Ronnie James Dio that really hammered it home for me: Living legends are dying. The Age of the Metal God is drawing to a close.

There was no shortage of press surrounding Dio’s passing; RJD’s stellar career warranted the full treatment. He even had a tribute album. The mainstream metal press, both in print and online, are quick to respond to the death of heavy metal icons with career retrospectives, buyer’s guides, archival photos, and ‘final Interviews’. So you know where to go if you want to read about the Deathstyles of the Rich and Famous. But who’s gonna pay tribute to the less-than-legendary rock/metal musos? Who’s gonna memorialize those dudes with names that sound… kinda… familiar… but… Who will remember the sidemen to the superstars? That’s right. This blog. Right here.

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You have heard John Gustafson, even if you have never heard of him. Gustafson was one of those guys who popped up in several middling UK bands in the 70’s but never really became a household name. His association with the Deep Purple extended family tree kept him busy for much of the 1970’s, and I can virtually guarantee that you have heard one song that Gus played on, as he was associated with exactly one US/UK hit single. But the man’s lack of name recognition is in no way related to the man’s talent and abilities as a bass player and lead vocalist. John Gustafson was a phenomenal talent. I make some listening recommendations at the end of this piece; check them out and see if you don’t agree.

In the 1960’s Gustafson played in some important British bands, the first of which was The Big Three, a Merseybeat group that emerged from Liverpool along with the Beatles and the Searchers. The Big Three were managed by one Brian Epstein, and had a UK #37 with their version of ‘Some Other Guy’ in 1963. In ’64 Gustafson joined the Merseybeats, another Merseybeat band (!) who scored two consecutive #13 hits on the UK singles charts. Not a bad start.

In 1969, Gustafson replaced a cat by the name of Roger Glover in a UK pop band called Episode Six. The reason that Glover needed replacing? Glover and Episode Six lead vocalist Ian Gillan had left to join Deep Purple. While playing with E6, Gustafson was invited to appear on the album version of Tim Rice & Andrew Lloyd Weber’s rock opera ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’. Hard rockers are familiar with this record mainly due to the presence of Deep Purple’s Ian Gillan in the role of Jesus Christ. John Gustafson sang the role of Simon Zealotes on the album, which topped the US Billboard chart in 1970. ‘Simon Zealotes/Poor Jerusalem’ is essentially a duet between Gustafson and Gillan, and, strange as it may sound, it’s not the only vocal duet the pair would record. More on that later.

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As Episode Six fizzled, drummer Mick Underwood, Gustafson and keyboardist Peter Robinson left to form progressive rock trio Quatermass. Quatermass released one excellent album in 1970 and folded. Consisting of only drums, bass, and layered keyboards (no guitars whatsoever), Quatermass is a dynamic, complex, and creative piece of progressive rock, and Gustafsons first true showcase as a hard rock vocalist and bassist. Hard rock without guitars? Believe it. Ritchie Blackmore liked one of the songs on ‘Quatermass’ enough to suggest that Deep Purple record it in 1974; they balked, so he packed up and did it (‘Black Sheep of the Family’) with Rainbow instead.

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Gustafson then joined Daemon, featuring John Du Cann and Paul Hammond, both former members of Atomic Rooster. Daemon changed their name to Bullet when Gustafson joined, but had to change it yet again, as there was an American by the same name. Now called Hard Stuff, Gustafson and crew jokingly titled their 1972 debut album ‘Bulletproof’. One of early metal’s true lost gems, ‘Bulletproof’ is a solid slab of guitar heavy, loud-ass 70’s hard rock; stripped to bare bones and ragged in all the right places. Hard Stuff’s next album was almost derailed when an auto accident seriously injured both Hammond and Du Cann, almost ending their careers; Gustafson emerged unscathed, but the band barely survived long enough to see the release of the proggier sophomore effort ‘Bolex Dementia’ in ’73.

Gustafson always made himself available as a session man for whatever came his way, and one of these sessions led to a 3-year association with the band Roxy Music. Gustafson appeared on 3 Roxy albums, ‘Stranded’, ‘Country Life’, and ‘Siren’, the latter featuring the UK #2 single ‘Love is the Drug’. The song also hit #30 in the US, and there’s a good chance you’ve heard it. Gustafson was never an ‘official’ member of Roxy Music, but was asked at the end of the ‘Siren’ tour in ’75 if he’d like to join permanently. Gustafson declined, citing his desire to play ‘harder edged’ music.

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While working with Roxy, Roger Glover invited Gustafson to contribute to his ‘Butterfly Ball’ project in 1974. The album was based on a popular children’s poem, with each piece centered on a different woodland animal; Gustafson’s entry was called ‘Watch Out for the Bat’. As Glover wrote all of the music and lyrics on the record, and hired mostly studio musicians to record it, Gus only sang on the song. But at the project’s sole live performance in October of 1975, Ian Gillan (who was enlisted to sing Ronnie Dio’s parts !! for the live presentation) asked Gustafson to join a band he was putting together.

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Gustafson released a solo album in 1976. ‘Goose Grease’ is a funky, jazz-influenced album; part fusion and part prog. Gustafson’s versatile playing shines throughout; fluid, chops-heavy and funky, anchored by a solid 70’s hard rock sensibility. Gustafson joined the Ian Gillan Band later in the year; this album provided the template for that band’s ultimate direction.

The Ian Gillan Band (Not to be confused with Gillan, a very different band) expanded on the sound and style of Gustafson’s solo album, releasing three jazz/rock albums during the height of the UK punk rock explosion. With its focus on texture, chops, and improvisation, jazz-rock was one of the styles that the punks were so vehemently rallying against, and the IGB paid the price for it.

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The IGB’s first album, called ‘Child in Time’, was produced by Roger Glover. Much of the material was written and demo’d between ’72 and ’74, before the IGB formed. The album is a murky mix of slow, dirgey R&B and mellow jazz rock, and the version of ‘Child in Time’ here has to be heard to be believed. Another song worth checking out is ‘Down the Road’, the second vocal duet between Gustafson and Gillan. Trading lines in each verse, the song is remarkable in that Gillan takes a moderate, even sedate, approach to his vocal, letting Gustafson unleash the histrionics usually associated with Deep Purple’s legendary screamer. The two differing approaches compliment each other nicely, and it’s interesting that Gillan let Gustafson loose like this on his first post-DP recording. definitely worth a listen.

Keyboardist Colin Towns joined the IGB in ’76, and on their next two releases, the band solidified their sound significantly. Second record ‘Clear Air Turbulence’ is a prog/fusion monster. Gustafson had found his ultimate rhythmic partner in drummer Mark Nauseef (the guy who filled in for Brian Downey for the Thin Lizzy gig filmed outside the Sydney Opera House in 1978), and their playing together is outstanding. Although lacking in the hard rock department, CAT is both a prime example of mid-70’s jazz-rock noodling and a shining example of what not to play while punk rock is tearing up the music charts.

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Third Album ‘Scarabus’ is just plain excellent. A perfect combination of hard rock muscle, progressive ideas and jazz-influenced playing, ‘Sarabus’ reigns in the song lengths and focuses on standard rock structures. It’s a great album of strong songs and excellent performances by all involved; but nobody cared. IGB couldn’t get arrested in the UK, none of the albums were available in the states, and in 1977, there was nowhere to go but Japan. 1978’s ‘Live at the Budokan’ would be IGB’s swan song. It, too, is excellent.

A fourth IGB album was underway when Gillan finally saw the writing on the wall and decided to get with the program and start rocking again. Retaining only Colin Towns, Gillan dumped the rest of the band, changed its name to (what else?) Gillan, and proceeded to jump headlong into the emerging NWOBHM movement. Released in 2003, a CD compilation called ‘Rarites 1975-1977’, includes 3 songs recorded for that unfinished fourth IGB album. All three songs (‘Vindaloo’, ‘You Get What You Ask For’, and ‘Raped by Aliens’) feature John Gustafson on lead vocals, with Gillan nowhere to be found. Gus more than carries the material; in fact, it sounds like the Ian Gillan Band could have carried on quite nicely without Ian Gillan… After a name change, of course.

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Recordings after 1980 were few and far between; mainly some session work (Steve Hackett, Rick Wakeman, Ian Hunter) and reunions with some of his 1960’s bands (The Pirates). But his 70’s work is where you’ll find the real Johnny Gustafson. While his legacy is as rich as it is obscure, the respect and appreciation long due the man is now overdue: John Gustafson died at age 72 on September 12, 2014. Honor the man and check out some of his music:

John Gustafson/Ian Gillan, ‘Simon Zealotes/Poor Jarusalem’, from ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ 1969

Quatermass, ‘Quatermass’ album, 1970

Hard Stuff, ‘Bulletptoof’ album, 1972

John Gustafson, ‘Watch Out for the Bat’, from Roger Glover’s ‘The Butterfly Ball’ 1974

Roxy Music, ‘Love is the Drug’ single 1975

Ian Gillan Band, ‘Down the Road’ from ‘Child in Time’ 1975

Ian Gillan Band ‘Scarabus’ album, 1977

Ian Gillan Band, ‘Vindaloo’/’You Get What You Ask For’/’Raped by Aliens’, from ‘Rarities 1975-1977’ 2003

‘Snakebitten

Rainbow, Gillan, and Whitesnake: three bands that filled the void between Deep Purple’s 1976 break-up and the Mk II reunion in 1984. All achieved great success in the UK and Europe, with charting albums & singles, Gold records, TV appearances, etc. However, while Gillan (the band) never made any serious waves on this side of the pond, Rainbow and Whitesnake did. Blackmore and Co. did it the old fashioned way: touring America incessantly in the late 70’s, and later retooling their sound for FM radio. The story of Whitesnake’s road to fame and fortune in the US is a tragic one. If handled differently, Whitesnake could have been another Bad Company, maybe even an Aerosmith. But sadly, this was not to be. In an effort to break into the lucrative American market, Whitesnake dove headlong into the empty glitz and glam of the of the MTv era. When the dust settled, we’d lost another fine band in the great Hair Metal Wars of the 1980’s.

Whitesnake had evolved out of the post-Purple career of David Coverdale, who, after 2 solo albums, decided to make a go of it with a proper band. ‘David Coverdale’s Whitesnake’ debuted with the ‘Snakebite’ E.P. in 1978, and by their third album, had absorbed former Purps Ian Paice and Jon Lord into their ranks. Alas, almost five years/albums into their career, despite major success in Britain, a breakthrough in the States continued to elude a band that was three fifths Deep Purple Mk III. Guitarist Mickey Moody, frustrated that a band with several Gold records could be 20,000 pounds in debt, quit the band near the end of sessions for Whitesnake’s fifth lp ‘Saints an’ Sinners’. The Coverdale/Marsden/Moody triumvirate was no more.

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David Coverdale knew some major changes needed to be made if the band were to break outside of the UK. The singer abruptly called a halt to the recording sessions and put the band ‘on hold’ in an effort to cut ties with manager John Coletta. During this enforced hiatus, guitarist Bernie Marsden left the band, as did the rhythm section of Niel Murray and Ian Paice. David Coverdale and Jon Lord were the last ‘Snakes standing…

So ‘Saints an’ Sinners’ sat unfinished for most of 1982. By the end of the year, Coverdale was managing Whitesnake himself, and had rebuilt the band from scratch. The new ‘Snake was comprised of bassist Colin Hodgkinson, ex-Trapeze guitarist Mel Galley, and Cozy Powell. Not exactly blooz-rawk legends… Recognizing this, Coverdale invited Micky Moody and his down-and-dirty slide guitar back to the band. Moody accepted.

As it turned out, all the unfinished ‘Saints…’ album needed was backing vocals, so Moody and Galley contributed vox and the sessions were wrapped. (Some believe the album was actually finished, with Coverdale holding the completed record hostage during his efforts to separate the band from Coletta.) ‘Saints an’ Sinners’, recorded by a version of Whitesnake that no longer existed, hit #9 in the UK. The record, um, missed thd charts completely; this latest failure of Whitesnake to crack the American market infuriated the band’s new manager…

Just before starting work on album #6, Coverdale scored a major record label upgrade, moving the band in the US from Atlantic to Geffen. The band began recording a new album in earnest. If anyone could guide Whitesnake to their US breakthrough, it was proven starmaker David Geffen. Geffen often acted as career advisor to the artists on his label, with outstanding results. What would this new high-powered ally advise Whtesnake’s new management?

Mickey Moody, back in the band he helped found, felt like a stranger in a strange land. Throughout the recording, Moody sensed his time was short. While on tour with Thin Lizzy in 1983, Coverdale struck up a ‘friendship’ with guitarist John Sykes, while Moody’s own friendship with the vocalist had all but evaporated. After a backstage incident between Moody, Coverdale and Sykes, Mickey decided to once again quit the band. He called a meeting to make his announcement, which everyone in the band attended… except singer/manager David Coverdale. John Sykes, available after the demise of Thin Lizzy, was immediately announced as his replacement. Imagine that.

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After ‘Slide it In’ was completed, David Geffen continued to work his magic behind the scenes. Geffen demanded the record be remixed for the US market. He also demanded that new guitarist John Sykes overdub guitars, and that Hodgkinson’s bass be re-recorded by ex-member Niel Murray. The resultant album is not really much different, with all of Moody and Galley’s work intact; Sykes’ more 80’s guitar tone is apparent but not obtrusive (though Murray’s new bass tracks were a vast improvement over Hodgkinson’s). The real difference would be in how the album looked on TV.

Both promotional videos for the ‘Slide’ album featured only Coverdale, Sykes, Murray and Powell (oh– and bimbos; lots of bimbos). Jon Lord had left to take part in Deep Purple’s Mk II reunion; Mel Galley had injured his arm and would never fully recover, forcing him to leave the band. New boy Sykes was now the band’s sole guitarist. Once again, the band people would experience would be vastly different than the one that wrote and recorded the music they were hearing. And so we see John Sykes pretending to play Micky Moody’s classic slide guitar parts, as well as Mel Galley’s solo on ‘Slow and Easy’ (Moody’s slide solo was edited out of the video). Sykes looks positively dreamy aping Galley’s solo in ‘Love Ain’t no Stranger’. And from the looks of the video, no one was playing the keybords.

Whitesnake’s new front line looked great in the videos, if you liked hair… and apparently America did. ‘Slide’ reached the American Top 40, a feat that no Whitesnake album before it had achieved. How? What was the difference between ‘Slide it In’ and all previous Whitesnake albums? Presentation. David Geffen knew what was coming. He knew that what music looked like would be just as important as what it sounded like to rock fans in the age of MTv. And let’s face it, Micky Moody, with his ever-present stovepipe hat and questionable facial hair, was hardly a match for the flowing locks and heroic posing of John Sykes. Geffen helped revamp Whitesnake for the MTv generation, and it worked. ‘Side it In’ went Gold in America, and Whitesnake had planted one foot firmly on the road to Hair Metal. David Geffen’s impact and influence on Whitesnake was undeniable, and after the success of ‘Slide’ he urged the band to ‘start taking America seriously’. Uh-oh.

It took Coverdale and Co. took more than three years to complete a follow up to ‘Slide’, mostly becasuse, as a band, Whitesnake was a mess. Cozy Powell quit after the last date on the ‘Slide’ tour, and was replaced by Aisnley Dunbar.
The Coverdale/Sykes writing partnership yielded two hits in ‘Still of the Night’ and ‘Is This Love’… but not much else. Unimpressed with bulk of the writing, producers Mike Stone and Lieth Olsen suggested re-recording earlier Whitesnake UK hit singles ‘Here I Go Again’, and ‘Crying in the Rain’. Then Coverdale developed a serious sinus infection, forcing the band into another extended hiatus. Sykes actually urged the band to replace Coverdale (!!!), which led to his firing by the band’s manage(Coverdale!)ment. Adrian Vandenberg was hired to replace Sykes. This was no longer a band, it was a goddamn soap opera.

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By the time the ‘Whitesnake’ album was released, Coverdale had rebuilt Whitesnake yet again, with Tommy Aldridge, Vivian Campbell, Rudy Sarzo (oh, for Christ’s sake!) and the aforementioned Vandenberg. What is this– Rainbow??. Nobody in this line up (except Covs) wrote or recorded any of the music they were fronting. And how ironic seeing Adrian Vandenberg ‘play’ John Sykes’ guitar parts in the videos for ‘Still of the Night’ and ‘Is This Love’… Somewhere, Micky Moody was smiling.

The ‘Whitesnake’ album defied all logic and was a smash hit everywhere. Riding high on the the Hair Metal wave, it charted higher in the US than in the UK, eventually selling 8 million copies, and pulled it’s predecessor from Gold to Double Platinum status. And the most important factor in this album’s success was not even a musician: Tawny Kitaen, Queen of the Video Bimbos. You know it’s true.

The transformation was complete: from a solid band of bluesy hard rockers to glam metal fops in just three albums. Whitesnake had reached its goal of conquering America. But mega success like this does not come without a price. Whitesnake’s road to success in America was littered with bitter ex-members, covert machinations and ridiculous videos. A once-great band had sold out and become a revolving door of hired hands with big names, big hair, but no soul. There would be one more Whitesnake record (featuring Steve Vai on guitar… the polar opposite of Micky Moody; look it up) before Coverdale folded the band ‘for good’. Some consider this to be the wisest management decision David Coverdale ever made.

How Can We Miss You if you Won’t Go Away?

Have you ever found yourself wishing Black Sabbath broke up after ‘Never Say Die’? ‘Live Evil’, maybe? Daydreamed of a world in which ‘Music from the Edler’ never happened? If time travel were possible, I know the first two things I would use it for would be to a) kill baby Hitler and b) prevent ELP from recording ‘Love Beach’. My point is that some bands just oughtta have expiration dates. Didn’t someone once sing ‘Hope I die before I get old’? And didn’t he mean that shit?

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We can blame the Rolling Stones, I guess, for continuing to record and perform into their 70’s and showing rock n rollers everywhere that if you can still deliver the goods, and if you’ve still got something valid to say, then there’s no reason to stop. But those are two pretty big ‘ifs’.

This is not ageism. It’s not about how old you are but rather about the quality of your product; the consistency of your brand. I don’t begrudge these bands making a living, or extending their careers as long as physically possible, as long as a market exists for their music. But all of these so-called ‘Legacy bands’ face the same problem, if they are around long enough: they find themselves competing with their glory years. Clearly this gets harder as the band gets older, and usually quality suffers. Are UFO ever going to make another ‘Lights Out’? Doubtful, but they soldier on, age and line-up changes be damned, releasing solid records that still carry forward a semblance of the ‘classic’ UFO sound. But purists like me will always compare anything they do to their heyday output. And they just don’t measure up. But all due props to Mogg and whoever’s in his band this week; more power to ‘em.

Line-up changes, in-house acrimony, contract disputes, drug battles, publicized lawsuits, and even original member ratios are other indications that a band may have exceeded it’s expiration date. And nowadays it’s played out for all to see over the internet. Witness the recent public disintegration of Queensryche, in which years of dirty laundry were aired out online for all their fans to see. It was ugly. Every court document, every testimony transcript and legal brief accompanying that drama was available within hours on Blabbermouth. I’m sure this type of thing has occurred hundreds of times over the years but before the advent of the internet, we never knew about it. We were better off. Van Halen were finally able to get to the point of releasing a pretty decent album, ‘A Different Kind of Truth’, after years of very public mud-slinging, trash talking, back stabbing and even Gary Cherone. It’s hard to listen to anything after ‘1984’ after reading Sammy Hagar’s bio, though. Although honestly, it was hard to listen to that stuff before that too.

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Clearly if bands hang on long enough, sooner or later the members will begin suing each other. Cheap Trick are in the midst of an in-house legal battle; lawsuits and counter-suits are circulating between band members who have been playing together since high school. Pretty sad. Their post-major label records have been of very high quality, and their live show just seemed to get better and better over the years; now this. CT are currently touring with guitarist Rick Nielsen’s son Daxx on drums while the lawsuits simmer. To their credit, neither side has let loose online, and have remained pretty classy about the whole thing. Speaking of classy, Aerosmith had to sue Steven Tyler to get him into the studio and get their most recent record done. How UN-rock n roll is that? Of course the record wasn’t very rock n roll either, despite the year-long hype campaign that insisted that A-smith were working with Jack Douglas (‘Toys’, ‘Rocks’) and getting back to the ‘old school Aerosmith’ vibe. Promises, promises. Even the band members themselves have recently referred to ‘Music From Another Dimension’ as having ‘missed the mark’. Someone tell Aerosmith that if you have to sue a member of your band to get him motivated to work on a record, your band is no longer a band; it’s time to start gardening. News Flash: Corporate board members, business advisors and their legal counsel just don’t make great rock records. Duh.

Okay, so, if you’re not going to break up, maybe a name change is in order? That would have worked for Sabbath; also for Deep Purple more than once. That said, Purple’s latest, called ‘Now What?!’ is among their very best, and does the name ‘Deep Purple’ proud while validating their hanging in there for 45 years. I also salute Scott Gorham for finally coming to his senses (probably received one too many death threats) and changing the name of his downright sacrilegious version of Thin Lizzy to Black Star Riders (an ironically fitting and therefore unfortunate name) just before releasing a record. And then there’s poor old Tony and Geezer, who had to stop calling their band Black Sabbath because Ozzy wasn’t a member, and change the name of the band to Heaven and Hell while they continued touring and recording with Ronnie Dio. As much as I despise puppet master Sharon Osbourne, and love the Dio-era Sabbath albums, I felt good about that name change, and, as alluded to earlier in this post, feel like they should have done it sooner. ‘Cause it’s really not Black Sabbath without Ozzy. Or Bill Ward. D’oh!

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So when a ‘legacy’ band finally does decide to retire, just how long does it take to say ‘Farewell’? Scorpions announced their retirement in March of 2010, and are still on tour today; their ‘farewell tour’ is now stretching past the 4 year mark, with no end in sight. At time of writing they have dates scheduled through March of this year. They’ve released 3 albums since their announcement; none of which are compilations or best-ofs. Goodbye, already! Judas Priest made the same announcement in December of 2010, and played shows right through 2012, though guitarist KK Downing decided to skip the farewell nonsense, indicating that he felt the band was becoming a nostalgia act. A DVD was culled from the tour, ironically titled ‘Epitaph’; ironic because the band refuses to die, and in fact are currently booked to appear at Rock N Roll Fantasy Camp (whatever that is) in Las Vegas this February and March. Priest in Vegas? KK was right. A new JP album will appear in 2014… No one cared about their last handful of records; expect more not-caring later this year.

Kiss has put the ultimate plan in place: Cloning. When you lose members, replace them with younger versions. They did it with Ace and Peter, and I promise you Gene and Paul will do it for themselves too, when they can no longer walk in those platform boots without a cane.

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Looks like only Led Zeppelin got it right. But there are a few notable cases of bands keeping it together for the long haul: Thank you, Rush, for hanging in long enough to be around when the rest of the world finally caught up to you, and doing so with your sound, your chops, and your roster intact. Thank you Motorhead, and thank you AC/DC, for showing us how a metal band can grow old gracefully, stay consistent, and command the respect and appreciation of millions in the process. Both bands have weathered major line-up changes, decades of significant trends in popular music, and monumental changes in the music business, all the while retaining their character, their sound and their integrity. We may have just enjoyed the final Motorhead album in ‘Aftershock’, while AC/DC are apparently working towards another record/touring cycle, but it can’t go on forever… that kid in the schoolboy outfit is 59 years old…

It’s almost over, folks; the era of our 70’s hard rock heroes is fading, and there’s no one, I mean NO ONE waiting in the wings to carry the flame forward. Two guys dressed as robots won 5 Grammys this year. That’s the future, folks.

By the way, the guy who wrote ‘Hope I die before I get old’ performed with his band the Who during the closing ceremonies at the 2012 Winter Olympics in London, at age 67.

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